What the fuck is going on? Three straight beers have underattenuated. I think my step mashing program is fucked. Stormtrooper is its last chance. If it doesn't hit middling for the attenuation range for White Labs California Ale Yeast, then I'm fucking scraping all the step mashing unless my new thermometer tells a tale that convinces me that the problem was temperature.

That reminds me: where is my new thermometer?

Update, about one hour later:

Curiosity is nagging at me. Could the whole problem be my thermometer? I've "calibrated" it recently, but for all I know, that fucked it up. I have another thermometer. I don't trust it, but if the two are close to one another, like within a few degrees, well, that's reason to think they're not nuts.

Tap water test. Cold tap water. Hot tap water. Coffee pot water. Seven. Seven degrees. Seven fucking degrees. That's like mashing way too fucking hot. It's like it because indiscernable from it because identical with it. If I thought it was 145, it was 152. If I though 155, 162. Too fucking hot. Oh god, oh god. Or else, too cold--way too cold. But I think too hot. Too hot explains my recent, dramatic, underattenuation problems. Soon, that new thermometer I ordered will arrive and I will verify this all... And we shall see.

I still hold hope for Stormtrooper. It may have been mashed as hot at 153 for an hour, followed by 162, but 153 for an hour is a decent rest for a single step infusion. Enough to make a pretty good beer, if not the well attenuated IPA I was seeking.